Protect the Innocent from Second Hand Smoke

October 4, 2013 · Posted in Assault on Cigars · Comment 

Dear Innocents,

I understand your annoyance at being subjected to offensive odors and the health risks associated with smoke wafting about like a boney hand with a mind bent on murder. And, as a cigar smoker, I cringe at the idea of raising the ire and lowering the life expectancy of most non-smokers. If I have transgressed upon your physical and mental health in the past I sincerely apologize.

Over the last couple of decades America has made many positive moves to protect non-smokers from the ails of second hand smoke by outlawing smoking in most public buildings and in many outdoor areas as well. Here in California, for example, Cal State Fullerton recently became the first CSU campus to become completely smoke free. Why is this such a good thing for you innocents?

According to a 2007 study conducted by a couple of Stanford researchers, if an innocent were to sit within 18 inches of a cigarette smoker who smokes two cigarettes over the course of an hour the innocent would be exposed to the equivalent of an hour’s worth of sitting in a “tavern with smokers.” Personally, I think it’s utterly offensive if an innocent were to innocently sit down next to a smoker and the smoker didn’t immediately put out the cancer stick and walk away in shame.

Sure, according to the same study, if an innocent were to wander no closer than six feet close to a smoker said innocent “would have little problem.” But that’s not really fair when the smoker is sitting in a spot less than a couple of feet from where the innocent would prefer to sit. Why should that innocent have to alter their habits?

Kudos to Cal State Fullerton and every other locale that has banned smoking outdoors. Even though most of the time innocents are just passing through these places and are not subjected to the cold, wispy death grip of smoke for long, most likely not long enough to cause any harm, you can never be too cautious when it comes to such matters. At this point, many other smokers will be nodding their heads in agreement with what has been written here but are thinking that cigar lounges and other places that allow smoking acceptably protect the innocents.

Unfortunately, they would be wrong to even consider that as an acceptable compromise. As most intelligent people already know, people who don’t smoke frequently find employment at establishments that allow smoking. Sure, all of the employees at the cigar shops that I frequent smoke cigars themselves but what if an innocent wanted to work at a cigar shop or, more likely, that’s the only place they could find employment in these troubling economic times? By allowing smokers to light up in these places is unfair to those people.

At this point it goes without saying that restaurant smoking patios are completely unfair to the innocents as well. Prior knowledge that these restaurants allow smoking on their patios isn’t enough. What if the innocents had their hearts set on an al fresco dinner? Or, worse, what if the restaurant only has seating available on the smoking patio? Fortunately, the progressive city of beautiful Coronado has recently made strides to make smoking illegal in almost all cases. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress.

Now my fellow smokers must be in the throes of a nervous breakdown because they will have to admit that smoking outside represents a clear and present danger to all the innocents out there. I’m afraid that my fellow smokers are deluding themselves if they don’t accept this fact. But what about smoking at home? That should protect all the innocents, right?

As we have learned, there is a thing called third hand smoke. If you are not familiar with this danger then let me give you a short synopsis: the homing missiles that are smoke particulates cling to everything they come in contact with and when those smokers venture out into the world they are like suicide bombers that don’t die quickly by spreading carcinogens everywhere they go.

Smoke Face MaskThe only logical solution is to completely ban all tobacco products. This will be tough to enact but it has to be done to protect all the innocents, especially the children. Needless to say, this will be a tough nut to crack but, hopefully, it won’t go as horribly as the War on Drugs. It will take a comprehensive strategy and will probably take a while yet for all those troglodyte smokers to get with the program but it is definitely a worthwhile undertaking. A recent, somewhat whimsical, effort to shame smokers into embracing life can be seen by these Halloween masks made to look like smokers’ faces. They are hideous masks and I’m sure they’ll make some smokers rethink their lives.

In closing, I apologize for everything I and my fellow smokers have exposed you innocents to. The madness must stop and with some effort on all of our parts I’m sure we can rid the world of the disease called smoking.



PS: I will have a review of the Quesada Heisenberg up this weekend.

Anti-Smoking Marketing

February 25, 2009 · Posted in Assault on Cigars · 2 Comments 

It’s all about marketing.

Make people think that the very safety of children is at stake when they are around smoke and you win most of the war. Make people think that the very safety of children is at stake whenever they see a smoker and you have won the war. Seriously, who’s against the safety of children?

And this isn’t a cigarette v. cigar thing either. Just because there are extra things added into cigarettes do you think that the smoke-Nazis won’t come after cigars as well? Of course they will!

Here’s a little insight into the minds of the smoke-Nazi marketing campaign:

    That’s why so many health professionals are praising an article in the January issue of the journal Pediatrics. Authors of that study, from the Center for Child and Adolescent Health Policy at Massachusetts General Hospital and other health institutions, used the term “third-hand smoke.” And widespread attention to their work made “third-hand smoke” a part of the American vocabulary almost overnight.
    That opened the doors for all of us to talk about how to protect our families and friends — especially children, the elderly and the sick — from a potentially serious health risk.
    “It’s so valuable, the contribution of this term,” says Dr. Sumita Khatri, a pulmonologist at MetroHealth Medical Center who’s conducted research on air quality and asthma. “It just makes communication easier and faster.”

The smoke-Nazis think that “third hand” smoke is their silver bullet against us. They will use it to push for more regulations against cigar use and will use it to raise our taxes to ever greater heights.

SCHIP? That’s just a small step towards their ultimate goal of outlawing cigars. But, until they finally do reach that fateful moment when all the world’s children are safe from the menace that lingers on our clothes and in our hair for days after we smoke a cigar, they are content with taxing us as much as possible.

    The budget proposal that [Pennsylvania] Gov. Rendell unveiled earlier this month includes a 10-cents-per-pack tax hike on cigarettes — up to $1.45 per pack — along with first-time taxes on cigars and smokeless tobacco.


The campaign to eradicate cigar smokers is based on half truths and marketing. Whenever the studies fail to scare voters enough they find terms, like “third hand smoke”, that will do the job scaring voters. Do we really want to lose our right to smoke cigars because the other side has better marketers than we do?

IPCPR Dismisses ‘Third-Hand’ Smoke

January 23, 2009 · Posted in Assault on Cigars · Comment 

Finally! Some group has the gonads to make fun of something as ridiculous as “third hand smoke.” Here are my favorite takeaways from IPCPR’s Press Release:

    When it was originally introduced in mid-2004, it was just another obscure survey. No one paid much attention to it because it was regarded as silly as saying we should ban nail polish because it smells bad long after it is applied. Now that it has been given a catchy name and its publication in the January issue of a magazine about children has been reported on by international news sources, Google is showing nearly one million results for ‘third-hand smoke’ occurring almost overnight.
    McCalla suggested tongue-in-cheek that studies may next be done on fourth-hand and fifth-hand smoke, where people who touch the clothes worn by people who have touched the clothes worn by people who went to a cigar bar a week ago might be the object of scrutiny.
    The Surgeon General’s report in 2006 called most of its findings inconclusive regarding the effects of secondhand smoke, so how could they move against so-called ‘third-hand smoke’ when the recent survey had nothing to do with its scientific aspects? Also, if ‘third-hand smoke’ should be of concern to anyone , why has OSHA not addressed the subject? In fact, OSHA issued allowable standards for secondhand smoke in the workplace that far exceed that which one may find in a typical cigar bar or restaurant.

And my favorite…

    Relax. These are stressful times. Enjoy a good cigar.

Good advice

S-CHIP Coming

January 12, 2009 · Posted in Assault on Cigars · 2 Comments 

Over the weekend I was looking around online for cigar news and, unfortunately, I ran across this story from Charlotte, North Carolina News 14 that features a cigar owner and some customers predicting what will happen when our country’s new administration takes the reins. Let me tell you right now, it does not look good for cigar smokers.

From the story:

And Washington lawmakers are looking to tobacco buyers and sellers to give it the boost it needs by proposing a tax hike on tobacco products.

Two previous S-CHIP funding bills called for a 53 percent tax on cigars and a minimum price cap.

Those bills were passed in the House and Senate, but were vetoed by the president.

Cigar shop owner Lindalyn Kakadelis said once President-Elect Obama is sworn in, a new S-CHIP bill should pass, since he previously voted in favor of it.

For more information on the proposed tax increases on cigars go HERE for more information. In short, taxes will go up a lot.

What does it all mean? Like I said in my post from last week, Third Hand Smoke, us cigar smokers are screwed. Taxes are going to go up through S-CHIP, regulations are going to increase because of new-found threats to health (the laughable “third hand smoke”), and I believe that all of this is leading to an eventual prohibition of tobacco. After all, it’s not healthy.

For those of you who are not smokers you need to realize something. Right now the government is after us smokers. You may think this is great because you don’t like cigar smell or because you think that being within twenty miles of a smoker will cause you to have cancer and die at thirty (you’re insane, get over your bad self if you believe that). But once the government is done with smokers they will need to get more tax money from another source.

That other source will be you. Something that you do will be considered to be a danger to children (it’s always about the children), as is smoking today, and they will start taxing you and regulating away what you are doing. That’s what the government does and I have no doubt in my mind that an Obama Administration is going to tighten the screws on the tobacco industry.

I guess the question you non-smokers have to ask yourselves is “Do you value freedom?” If you think it’s super that the government is relegating cigar smokers to darkened allies then you will eventually get your just desserts when the government levels their cross hairs on an activity that you currently like.

Third Hand Smoke

January 8, 2009 · Posted in Assault on Cigars · 4 Comments 

Not content on taxing tobacco users into the poorhouse and framing them as a worse threat to human life than terrorism, obesity, and global warming there is a new study out that “finds” that particles clinging to smoker’s hair and clothing will kill non-smokers. The obvious end result of all these “studies” is to ban tobacco products completely (yes, even cigars).

The original story, from The New York Times (shocking), makes it clear that the ones who are most at harm from this newly found health scourge are the children. Yup, those bundles of joy will crawl on the carpeting and suck in the particulate matter from a smoke and ingest it. The point is that when you light up a delicious Padron 1964 Anniversary Monarco you are slowly killing your child, your pet and your neighbor even if they never see nor come in contact with the actual smoke – the smell will do.

Do you all know where this is heading? It’s not too difficult to see the writing on the wall for this one. Second hand smoke has been basically made illegal in most of the country. You can’t light up anywhere but outdoors (sometimes not even there) because the smoke, as we are told, will kill. In some places you can’t even smoke in a car with your children present.

Now they have “proven” that third hand smoke, which is actually not smoke but particulates (smoke smell), will kill non-smokers. So what is a crusading member of your local government or a US Senator up for reelection suppose to do about this top killer of Americans?

Why ban tobacco of course! That’s it, there’s nothing else left for them to do. First the smoke was too bad and now the smell, we are told, is just as bad. Where else could this go?

You can’t just smoke in your house because you will presumably have to leave to get stuff or to work. You could fathomably get a smoke eater that will take the smoke smell away but they are expensive. So what is a politician to do?

We’ve already seen what they will do. They are going to take this setup from The New York Times and spike it in smokers’ faces. There are going to be more draconian laws aiming at “saving the children” or protecting the health of Americans or whatever the cause de jour is that news cycle.

Furthermore, I think it’s going to be sooner rather than later for the total banning of tobacco. President-elect Obama has made it clear that he wants some kind of universal health care solution and what that means is that the government is going to work ever harder to keep you “healthy.” Couple that with the TV-doc, Dr. Oz, being the new Surgeon General and you have the perfect health Nazi in charge of marketing the death of tobacco.

To recap: we are going to get a socialized health system that will work to “save us” from ourselves and those malicious smokers (us), we will have a celebrity Surgeon General who will lead the crusade for “health,” we have found out (a mere couple of weeks before Obama’s inauguration – coincidence?) that “third hand smoke” kills, and we live in a culture that is fine with stomping on the rights of cigar and cigarette smokers. In my opinion this is all heading towards an inevitable banning of tobacco.

Welcome to fascist America!